No Coincidences

I know it has been quite some time since I last blogged anything. My journey has taken me down quite a few unpleasant roads of late and I am just now feeling like sitting at the computer. You know, when they say chemo is poison, they are not kidding. I don't think it is something one can adequately describe. My second chemo treatment actually went well. No worshipping of the porcelain god (better known as the toilet) this time. I did get to battle a heck of a case of pneumonia for 8 days following though. Had enough IV fluids to fill a lake, enough antibiotics to kill any germ and coughed enough to really wrench my back. Sound like fun yet??? I was all set to go home when they told me my blood counts had dropped and needed 2 units of blood. At this point we struck a deal, give me the blood but let me go home. They did and I got to go home at 10:00pm on Friday. I was a vampire loving person to start with, Twighligt, True Blood, and The Vampire Diaries, etc. but now I am even more so. If anyone offers me blood, I'm taking it. Talk about boost of energy! Felt almost normal again. That about catches you up on the medical part. Having 8 days to do nothing but lay around, cough and think could usually be a very dangerous thing for me. My mind in an unfocused/undirected state can be a scary and dangerous place, lol. As a result of much praying here are some of the things that were revealed to me.

I need to start by letting you know that I have a tendency to feel alone in a room of people. I have been this way since Junior High. As a result, I constantly isolated myself to protect myself from being left. In short, I put up some very thick walls. This got a little better as I got older, but I still tend to do it even though I try not to. High school brought back particularly painful memories, ones it took me 34 years to let go of. (Must of liked that misery, lol). There is absolutely no foundation for these feelings, they are just what they are. Anyway, for some UNKNOWN reason one day my co-worker and I decided to join FaceBook. I think our daughters suggested it, well maybe mine, not sure Trini was initially on board with Kay and I joining, haha. As I was playing with this new "toy" I came across my high school group. In a moment of weakness I let down the wall and joined. As you all responded, I wrote back, laughed and had the best time I had had in a long time. This dark cloud lifted and I was suddenly healed and wanted to re-connect.

And then there are my cousins. We grew up more like brothers and sisters than 1st cousins. The feelings have always been there, but what with the fast pace of life we sort of let that get in the way. I now speak to them everyday, share life stories and laughter and most of all love. I didn't realize what a huge hole that I had carried around for so long and am so greatful to have that filled. This also includes my more immediate family and their extended families as well. The little only child from Arlington, Texas has more family now than ever in my life.

Last but not least are my work "sisters" and patients. Even though I work in the same suite as these ladies, Facebook has helped us learn about and laugh with each other. How my life has been blessed with these new and wonderful friendships.

Now I have to ask you, is it not absolutely amazing that all of a sudden I have the strongest, most caring and supportive group of people surrounding me at the time in my life when I need it the most? You see, there really are no coincidences...... only miracles that God chooses to remain anonymous in. My heart is so full and I am so blessed to have you all at my back. Heck even the hospital nurses want to be honorary "Sam Sisters". Let's never take a day or each other for granted. Each one is truly a gift from God.